I Am Sam

Midnight Run (1988) IMDB rating: 7.40 Plot: Bounty hunter Jack Walsh is sent to find and return bail jumper and former Mafia accountant, Jonathan “The Duke” Mardukas. The FBI have had no success it locating The Duke, so when Jack finds him in next to no time, they are a little embarrassed. In order to collect his $100,000 fee, Jack must take The Duke from New York to Los Angeles. However, the Mafia and the FBI have other ideas, as does Marvin, a rival bounty hunter. On their long cross-country trip to LA, the two get to know each other and they build up a strange friendship.

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Actors: De Niro Robert,Grodin Charles,Kotto Yaphet,Ashton John,Farina Dennis,Pantoliano Joe,Foronjy Richard,Miranda Robert,Kehoe Jack,Hall Philip Baker,McCleister Tom,Toles-Bey John,Action,Adventure,Comedy,Crime,Thriller,

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Am I a horrible person? *not so spiritually speaking*?
OK, when I was young I had a cousin (we’ll call him steve ^_^ only because I’ve always wanted to do this). "Steve" and I were not just cousins we were very good friends, being only three years apart in age and growing up as neighbors. But when we were young Steve’s parents divorced, very sad. When I was 14 my Uncle, Steve’s dad, got remarried and Steve did not like this woman so a year later he went to live with his mother. After living with his mother for a while it became aparent that this Ex-Aunt of mine was a royal beotch (even though I knew that she called me names behind my back throughout my childhood), Steve’s mother was poisoning his mind with stories about how horrible his father and my whole family are, she warped him into a grand prick.
After living with his mother for a few years Steve abandoned the Family name and took the name of his Step-father, he said that he wanted nothing to do with my family anymore, and my childhood bestfriend called me "creepy"

Ok, now to the part that makes me feel bad.
Earlier, around midnight, my uncle got a call saying that his oldest son, Steve, ran away because he got into a fight with his mother……..

Well, I don’t care.
I know that it isn’t likely but Steve could be lying in a ditch somewhere and… I don’t care.
I have no feelings for him anymore, after four years of not talking to him even once, and hearing that he wants nothing to do with me or my family (and his beotch mother trying to get me arrested - whole nother story). I just don’t care anymore.

Am I a horrible person? I don’t feel bad for not caring, and that worries me a bit, because it feels like I should care.
I’m not asking for advice. I just wanted to know if anyone thinks I’m horrible for not caring if he’s alive or dead.

No, I wouldn’t forgive him, I would probably just punch him in the face.
You don’t know what hell he put my uncle though, he deserves it.
He is not my cousin (did you not read "I had a cousin" past tense). He stopped being my cousin when he took his step-father’s name and said he wanted nothing to do with us.

I do not care and I will never forgive him.
You say that by me asking this it shows that I do care, but actually I just needed to vent. He is a Huge baby, running away because he and his mother had a spat.

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You are not.
How about a nice cup of stfu. | Nov 17, 2009

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Meh I don’t think so… I could care less if any of my old friends who screwed me over were lying in a ditch or a lion’s den or anywhere…
?ia | Nov 17, 2009

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Well… what he did was not as bad as some other things he could of done. I think you should forgive him.
Breanne W | Nov 17, 2009

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No; the very fact that you are conflicted, enough so that you are asking for advice, shows you actually do care. You two have a history, one that has it’s ups and downs; it’s not uncommon to be apathetic in situations like this, because you had to distance yourself emotionally from him to prevent yourself from being harmed all those years ago. Those walls aren’t going to come crashing down just because you hear he may be in trouble.

Cut yourself some slack.
eric k | Nov 17, 2009

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Nah, the guy sounds like a dick. BUT, if he ever did come back to you wanting to make amends, would you have it in you to forgive him and try to work things out? That, I think, would be the most important part.
ktron - atheiti's DD | Nov 17, 2009

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No your not a bad person.
Wanna Be Buddha | Nov 17, 2009

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You have a very dysfunctional family situation to contend with. You appear to have a PIC (Personal Identity Crisis). You would be wise to seek out professional help and get things sorted out with your life’s situation. And NO you are not a "horrible" person - you are typical of the way humans react to adverse situations confronting them.
guraqt2me | Nov 17, 2009

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You are not a horrible person, and neither is any member of your family.
They and you are all simply human beings….we start off thinking everything will stay the same, but things change, and sometimes change is difficult. Some change happens too quickly for us. Even though we pride ourselves as a species on our adaptability, we are pathetically dependent on one another for praise, love, even simple acknowledgement.

Being able to put the past behind us, to begin each day anew, is one of the most difficult things that we as humans must do. Our instinct is self-preservation, but as we grow and mature, we learn to realize that the preservation of others is more important. Once we come to this realization, we can provide no matter what the circumstance of our lives have come to be.

I hope that you will somehow rekindle your friendship….this begins with understanding what others are going through….it begins with sharing our feelings with one another….it begins with one of you asking: "tell me about how that made you feel when (that) happened…"
Shinigami . | Nov 17, 2009

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you do care, and you’re making a conscious effort not to.. but if you truly did not care you would not ask
???uo? ?f God | Nov 17, 2009

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No, you are just human. Save your caring for people who deserve it.
Scherazade | Nov 17, 2009

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A true friend is there in the good and the bad. But if that’s the case then where was he, when you needed a friend.

It’s hard to be a friend to someone when they cut connections with you - but it takes a really big person to forgive and forget. If you can do this - you will be a better person then myself.

I guess you have to ask yourself it forgiving your cousin is worth it.
Mc | Nov 17, 2009

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I can connect to that in a strong way, my friend.

The same feelings that you have for Steve, I have that for one of my ex-best friends. You see, after 4 years of friendship, we had a painful separation resulting from an incident, and after that our friendship never mended. In fact, after we broke off our friendship he began to torment me emotionally in many ways (he was still my classmate) almost everyday and it was simply torture. But I bore it all without retaliation. My hands were kinda tied (another story).

After my SSC exams, our paths didn’t cross anymore and I was happy not to have to see him any longer. Its been around 8 months or so since those dark days.

Now, a few months ago I learned that he has suffered a serious brain injury from an accident which could leave him with lasting consequences, possibly irreparable brain damage. However, I didn’t feel any remorse at all. In fact, I simply didn’t care. To me, its like ”he can go to hell”. I simply don’t care whether he dies or becomes the owner of Microsoft just as long as our paths don’t cross any more.

Yet I also felt kinda bad for not caring at all. My mom was especially disappointed with my attitude. She was like ”your heart is very cold”. But after all those time of emotional torment and humiliation, I don’t think one can blame me for not giving a sh!t about him anymore.
Metal clasS | Nov 17, 2009

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Well you should care, family is family and it’s well known that the ones we love most are the ones that hurt us.

Pray to the Lord and ask for a repentant heart, because if you can’t find it within yourself to forgive him, then the Lord will not forgive you of your sins. So forgiving someone is pretty much for our own benefit.

We each have a path and a road we must travel, we all have lessons to learn, unfortunately it seems we must learn them the hard way.

Would i seek him out, no, nor would i turn him away either if he was to show up at my door. You know one side of that story, and believe me, there are always 3 sides. And lets say in the worst case scenario that you do know it all, still try to forgive him so you can release the anger and the hurt you carry over this.

You knowing you should care is already a sign to you. Pray to the Lord to help you heal from the hurt that he caused you, to heal your broken spirit.

There are some things that no matter what we do, we can not over come with out the Lords help.

Be a better person to him than what he was to you.

Go with God.
Max | Nov 17, 2009

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bobby, NO your not a horible person, and i KNOW you know this
i have experienced some family issues too, and there comes a point where you HAVE to not care anymore
my cousin died, we had had a ‘fight’ not long before, at HIS doing, yes i hold a grude, but even his death didnt change the facts, i KNOW he was in the wrong, he may have died, but that didnt change that
i felt sad at his dying, of course, but did that mean i forgot what he did, what he caused me, no
i never forget, nor will his living family, who now i beleive dont particularly like me,

you cant feel bad for being a human being, you know that bobby, being a pagan your well aware of who and what we are and that accepting that, is the most healhty thing we can do
how you feel is veyr normal, so is the guilt and remorse your experincing at feeling this way

your find bobby, you have never, not once, came accross on here as a bad person or horrible person, your just human, and you rone of the nicest humans i have evermet in here or life, what soemone else does is their responsibility to deal with, HE did this, he must dealwiththe consequences of that
as we all must
Frou Frou | Nov 17, 2009

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Well if you are, then so am I… a hundred fold.

What you feel is apathy and that is normal under the circumstances. For example, I feel the same way towards my half-siblings [complete and total apathy.] You see when I was younger no matter how hard I tried to be nice and befriend them, they either ignored me [not returning phone calls, or letters, etc...] or were outright nasty to me and my mother [calling me names, making fun of my appearance, telling me I was going to go to hell and was 'sick' [when I left Christianity], telling me I was "socially unacceptable", etc.. The final straw was at my mother’s funeral when it was their turn to speak and instead of giving a eulogy launched into a sermon about how non-Christians are in hell [which my mom was a Pagan]. And then during the Pagan portion of the funeral particularly the prayer, they had the nerve to talk and interrupt.

So I decided I wanted nothing more to do with them, they didn’t deserve my kindness. After years of trying to bond with my father’s other children, I gave up. I do not consider them my family. This of course disappointed my father who wanted everyone to get along and he thinks I hate them. I don’t, I simply don’t care.

I went through wondering if I was a sociopath because of the way I felt towards some people. Ultimately though, it was a reaction to the situation and certain people, not all people. I know I am capable of feeling love and empathy, I just lack it for certain people who have betrayed me or abandoned me and for people who have so gravely offended what I hold dear.

I would only worry if you felt apathy towards everyone, but since you obviously don’t, you need not worry about being a horrible person Bobby, because you aren’t.
Bo??s | Nov 17, 2009

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No you are not a bad person… If you were real bad, you wouldn’t be asking this because you feel guilty for not caring and that makes u one good person.
But honey hope you take my words and think about ‘em… Why don’t u throw the past behind and be better person than him and his mother or at least his mother he stopped liking u because his mother probably told a lies and you must clear those lies from some one you cared for once and approve that you are not as what have been told about. There’s nothing such ex cousin even if he changed his name nothing can change the fact that both of u shares the same blood. Try to forgive him and think about the circumstances that he have been throw and also think about that he confused and maybe stopped trusting every one because the closest persons to him i mean parents or mother aren’t trustful enough. Show him some care if it happened and got back and be worry about him because honey once he gets hurt or anything, you going to start feel sorry and there going to be no chance to fix what happened. Remember family are forever no matter what.
And please don’t get bother with my words, i just cared enough and felt sorry for your story to write this.
God bless you and your family.
evita | Nov 17, 2009